I'll never call this place my home
Kinesiology student on the road to a doctorate in Physiotherapy. Power and Olympic lifter. Triathlon. Crossfit. Climbing. Cake. Mountaineering. Snowboarding. Instagram: Mysavageheart.
Home Theme Questions? Comments? Concerns? Me, My Life, My Love Spoil Me

I’m wide awake

I am in immense physical pain right now but I feel happier than I’ve ever been in quite some time.


Has been great.

1.Had my macros readjusted for more protein and less carbs again (I’m not particularly a hard carb person.)

2. Finally put a bitch in her place by taking a cigarette out of her mouth while walking in a large group at school, stomped on it and glared at her. Ain’t nobody gonna pollute my air.

3. Finally got to skype with my Andy Bear after almost a week of not skyping (we probably shouldn’t let that happen again.)

4. Got paid.

5. Going to eat an entire rotisserie chicken to myself.

6. Going to be going for my Crossfit Level 1 coaching certification in October.

These seem like very simple things but I am elated right now.

heaven is quiet

I’m sitting on a very deep, red leather cushioned couch in a near empty education building.

I hear the elevator open and close sometimes but never any footsteps.

There is a choir singing in one of the lecture theatres and there is a piano playing.

This is a very happy moment for me.

Cut my chest open and turn my torso into an open fire pit.

Burn any photos you might have of me over my body.

You don’t know that person anymore.

Portrait of a Man

The last night I saw you was at a burlesque show in Auckland. You idea of dressing up for the night was wearing a clean white t-shirt as opposed to all the other dirt smeared, fruit stained ones that you wore everyday. You always saved one, hung it in your tiny closet and waited. 

Your gums had become an ashy pink from years of smoking, but now you only had one or two when you were drinking. Which I suppose, was more often than not. Your hair was salt and pepper, your eyes were golden and released so much life onto someone so unsuspecting. You were warm and magnetic and in the moment that I first watched you in that kitchen, preparing bacon and a bowl of oatmeal with strawberries, I knew that you were going to be someone that would stay with me forever. 

You always told me to eat and drink well. Always take a day or two to just sleep. And before I left you for good that morning, you said “One day, you will find a man that will love you”

You never allowed me to take a photo of you. Maybe it was for the best. I’ve been searching for your face all day.

And darling, you always said it would end this way.


The knots in my back feel better than you ever did

The best part about exerting myself physically each day is that I come home and am too exhausted to care about anything. Including you.

I literally want to kick everyone in the fucking face right now

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

And especially…

Fuck you.

Fucking knots everywhere

I need full body massage that is so hard and deep that it leaves bruises right now.

….get your minds out of the gutters. This is serious.

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